


right where you left me

by voringsahyo



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:09:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29518566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voringsahyo/pseuds/voringsahyo
Summary: sometimes new beginnings start from the exact same place where our stories end and sana figures that out while she is reminiscing about her past relationship.
Relationships: Im Nayeon/Minatozaki Sana, Minatozaki Sana/Park Jisoo | Jihyo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	right where you left me

**Author's Note:**

> just something i thought of while listening to evermore. tbh im not even sure who is who but whatever here's something?

_"you're joking, right? right jihyo? me and you. we were always and forever. you cant.. you can not just tell me you want to break up. please tell me you're joking" sana pleaded desperately, her eyes searching for the younger's but to no avail._

  
_the cafe they sat in; they had their first date there. sana remembered it all too well. how jihyo held her hand, a gentle smile on her full plump lips as she listened to sana talk about a hard day at cheer practice. and when sana asked her to say something, she stated she'd rather listen to her talk forever._

  
_she remembered it all. how jihyo had nervously pressed a peck on her lips after their fourth date back from the museum, cheeks crimson red as they both chuckled sheepishly afterward. sana remembered it all. how jihyo had first touched her, fingers too delicate as her deep brown eyes blown in pure love and admiration. every single broken promise that spilled out of her lips, she remembered it all. they talked about buying each other matching rings, sana nodding excitedly at the idea. she remembered it all. and it made her want to cry._

  
_"sana. it is for th-"_

  
_"it was a break! for space- cause-cause you said it was mentally exhausting for you and you needed to sort your feelings out.. we can't end here jihyo- it's too soon, we were supposed to come back to each other. i waited cmon don't mess with me and let's go home" sana coaxed again, white-knuckling the table as beads of sweat rolled down her forehead, eyes growing glossy. she tried to reach for her hand but when jihyo pulled it back, she knew she was done for._

  
_"sana, im seriously sorry. this isn't going to work, i can't lie anymore." jihyo replied, looking up to see sana with a look in her eyes that the older girl couldn't describe. she felt sick sitting there in front of jihyo who looked down at her so wistfully it felt like a stab in her heart. jihyo's eyes were always the windows to her soul, she could tell what she was thinking by staring right in her hazel eyes but today sana couldn't read them. windows jammed shut and sana couldn't open them no matter how hard she tried._

  
_she couldn't help it, there was pin-drop silence at this point in the restaurant but that was maybe because it was early on a workday. their drinks were placed untouched on the small table they sat on. and sana's head was a mess. she couldn't help but reminisce all of their moments together. from the age of fifteen up till that moment, they shared so many memories._

  
_and sana remembered every single detail. every single fight and words shouted in frustration to how jihyo sent her letters everyday about one reason why she loved her. to slow dancing in their shared apartment's kitchen. to the way, they watched every single star wars movie. how sana played animal crossing with jihyo only because she liked it. how she'd wake her up at two in the morning to show her this cat tiktok she found and jihyo would groan at how bright the screen was._

  
_"it was always you. it has always been you. how could you do this to me- jihyo, i-i never looked at anyone the way i looked at you. was it something that i did wrong? please tell me, we can fix thi-"_

  
_"no, sana. stop. there is nothing to be fixed anymore. we have been with each other since we were kids and it was suffocating like everyone was expecting everything to happen. being in love with me will only make you suffer more cause this is not something i want anymore. sana, i loved you so much. i was never fake about any of my feelings and i never lied to you. but even after being with each other for so long, you still couldn't figure me out. all along we knew something wasn't going right. but we both chose to ignore it because we were blinded by our teenage loves. i was never good enough for you, i couldn't even make you happy or even give proper advice. i couldn't even listen to you rant. i am not what you need, you deserve better but i cant give you that cause i am like this. i cant get better"_

  
_sana couldn't have it in herself to admit jihyo was right, her pinned up hair was still perfectly made but her mascara was running already. she has forgotten how many times she was looking for jihyo but she was right in front of her. how many times she missed jihyo's presence when she was sleeping next to her. how jihyo's hands didn't make her hands warm enough. how her loving smile changed into a smirk. it wasn't only jihyo. sana broke her too when she was too selfish to realize that jihyo was exhausted but she still put up a fake smile for her. jihyo wasn't jihyo anymore, she lost her spark. she lost her. it was getting colder and colder, weird goosebumps rising on sana's arms and she couldn't help herself._

  
_sana pushed jihyo over the edge too many times too. but she stayed until she grew debilitated. sana refused to talk about what was on her mind, she refused to acknowledge jihyo's worried stares and comforting touches until jihyo refused to look at sana at all. no caresses or longing gazes, sheets unmade as jihyo was never home. food going cold as sana waited for her to return. sana coaxed jihyo into heaven but she left her there alone while she visited hell herself._

  
_tears fell easily down her eyes now, her head ducked low. she couldn't bear to see jihyo's big hazel eyes. how jihyo was still so considerate after what sana put her through. she couldn't get mad at jihyo for wanting someone better, who sang her songs and wrote her love letters. who asked for jihyo's favorite flowers. who held her hand during a horror film and who made her breakfast before she left for work. she couldn't get mad at jihyo for yearning for someone who loved her endlessly and so selflessly just like jihyo had once loved sana._

  
_"you understand, right?" jihyo asked timidly as if she was scared to make sana's heart break more, looking around the cafe shes been to a million times before, her fingers fidgeting on the table._

  
_"im sorry, jihyo-" she whispered, tears continuing to leak from the corners of her eyes. jihyo used her best colors for sana's portrait but she only saw a blank canvas. she wondered how this ended so soon if this was supposed to be the long haul._

  
_"im sorry too, sana. please do forgive me for this. i love you still but it's better for us" she replied, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder as she stood up from her seat in front of her. and sana cried harder at that because maybe this was going to be the last time jihyo was probably going to touch her. she had gained the weight of jihyo but then she lost it again._

  
_"im sorry for not winning you an arcade ring."_

  
_"don't worry about that."_

  
//

  
sana always worried about that.

  
//

  
sana wondered if jihyo ever thought of her too because sana always did. she wondered if she was going to feel this empty forevermore. she stirred the spoon mindlessly in her hot chocolate and she didn't even like the drink. when jihyo left her two years ago, she left her things too. she didn't take her baking utensils or her hot chocolate mixes. she left her high school jersey and her reading glasses. and they were locked away in a room of sana's apartment, she was too cowardly to send them back to their rightful owner or she was still so attached to let those little things go. 

  
she had heard from momo that she had moved to japan with someone, she wondered if they were engaged or married. they probably adopted a cat since jihyo always wanted that, but sana was allergic to their fur. and it would be a lie to say that she didn't dream of being in that mysterious person's place. 

  
sana knew that jihyo was gone, but she still lingered in the back of her mind. she tried to find jihyo in every face she saw. the moles, the perfectly structured nose, the beautiful caramel eyes. she should've let her go the moment she left sana alone in the corner of the cafe. but she always had a hard time letting go of people, especially with jihyo since she was her first love. 

  
she sat in a cafe alone in the middle of seoul, spring just around the corner. it was getting more temperate and sana regretted wearing these warm clothes, the woolen sweater clinging to her skin. she sighed softly to herself once again. 

  
it's not like sana was a hopeless lover, she did her job perfectly fine, even getting a promotion in the office. maybe that was because she was the only thing that kept her distracted. she finished all of those kdramas jihyo always talked about. she had done everything she could to make it seem like nothing had still changed but that would be extremely delusional of her. 

  
sana was harshly thrown out of her daydreams when she felt a firm grip on her shoulder, letting out a shriek in fear until she heard a booming laugh. she stared at the girl in front of her in disbelief, heartbeat still ringing loudly in her ears. the intruder made no move to apologize and sat right in front of her, sending sana a bright grin which showed the front of her teeth, and sana found herself thinking 'a bunny girl' 

  
"your hot chocolate in now cold chocolate, get it? since it's all cold now" she laughed loudly again, her head thrown back and sana wondered what was so funny but she remained quiet, trying to maintain the loud beating of her heart. 

  
"that was not funny at all- also you startled me" sana whispered, hurriedly finishing her drink as she avoided the girl's gaze that now fell on her since she stopped laughing. 

  
"well, that might be because your sense of humor sucks."

  
" no it doesn't. also you should apologize for creeping me out"

  
the girl rolled her eyes but the smile on her full lips stated that she wasn't serious, sighing as she placed her elbows on the table to lean forward and sana leaned back. "im sorry for scaring you. also my name is lim nayeon"

  
it felt nice on sana's tongue when she tested it out under her breath, humming in approval at her name. and maybe the intruder, known as nayeon heard it because she beamed brightly at sana again. "and you are?" and her voice was like honey too, mysteriously soothing.

  
sana sighed, wanting to get up and leave but she didn't want to be seen as a rude person so she just whispered a small "sana" back.

  
"sana what? sana the moody girl who drinks cold chocolate even if she doesn't like it?" nayeon laughed again, her eyes crinkling as they formed crescent moons and this time sana couldn't help but let a smile form on her lips too, insides churning deliciously as a foreign feeling settled inside the pit of her stomach.

  
"minatozaki sana. also how did you know i don't like hot chocolate?"

  
nayeon shrugged, moving her drink in her hand as she looked down on the table with a deep pink flush on her cheeks, now completely silent and mood changed a whole one-eighty degree. "well, i noticed that you came in every week at a specific time- not that i was checking!! i just happened to be there too. and if you enjoy something don't you try to savor it? you drink this every week with a straight expression and i watch you drink it. it's so... boring? yeah, yeah it's boring. lame watching you drink something that you dont even like. yeah"

  
sana raised a brow, taking the moment to examine the girl in front of her. she wore an off-white blouse and some slacks, her glasses placed on the bridge of her nose and her hair a shoulder-length ash brown colour. 

  
"you concluded that i didn't like this drink because i didn't have a happy emotion on my face?" sana asked gently, now being the one lean forward on the table, leaving out a few words from her question. and nayeon's cheeks flushed deeper at that, still avoiding the japanese girl's stare as she leaned back slightly.

  
"well yeah? if you like something don't you feel excited when you get it? like i feel so happy and giddy when i buy my favorite chicken from my favorite take-out place. but i don't see you happy or giddy when you drink it" nayeon stated plainly before pushing her drink in front of sana, swaying it in front of her face "try that, it's my favorite drink and has almond milk with frozen shots of coffee, its very cool." 

  
if sana is being honest, she didn't find anything cool in nayeon's description and nor did she feel comfortable enough to share a drink with a total stranger. but she realised today was all about being impulsive since nayeon had already pushed her way forcefully inside sana's life. and sana's life was only in this small cafe, in the small booth that was in the far left corner which had a painting of a beautiful farmland behind her.

  
she met nayeon's sweet chocolate eyes which seemed to be filled with nothing but sincerity and wonder and sana's stomach churned yet again, her breath getting stuck in the back of her throat. sana didn't like the way nayeon's gaze made goosebumps rise on her skin, she didn't like the way nayeon's gaze felt like coming home after a tiring day after work. she didn't like the way nayeon's gaze made her feel so weak. she didnt like the way nayeon's gaze made her heart beat faster than ever in the past two years. so she did take a sip, for the sake of her girl sitting in front of her. 

  
it wasn't that bad, the taste of coffee too strong on her tongue and the almond milk was too sweet, too sugary. but she swallowed it back since nayeon was staring at her with an attentive stare, eyes running all over her face as if to catch even a single small reaction. so she lied, putting on her best surprised expression since she did not want to hurt the girl in front of her "it tasted good, i have never had something like this before" 

  
that seemed to please nayeon enough because a warm smile grew on her face, the front two bunny teeth on display, and a smile tugged on sana's lips unconsciously as well. nayeon placed the drink in front of sana, hands clapping together in happiness as she leaned over the table again. and this time sana didn't lean back, staring at the girl with curiousty. something about this girl and her loud laugh and her overly sweet coffee made sana feel so at ease and so at home it was scary but she really didn't seem to mind. 

  
"you drink this and ill buy myself another one. or do you want the new one? which one would you like? do you want a large one? or a small one? how about i treat you to a piece of cake as well. do you like red velvet? or chocolate? whats your favorite flavor? im sure they would have it. you dont have to worry about paying, its on me-" nayeon rambled softly, already waving a waitress over and sana laughed, loud and genuine. she pulled nayeon's hand down, pushing her drink back to her. 

  
"how about we save this deal for next week? does that sound better?" sana asked gently, suddenly surprised by her boldness and now feeling very nervous as she tapped her feet down on the ground. heartbeat ringing loudly in her eardrums. 

  
"yeah, sounds about right." nayeon mumbled back gently, looking at sana through her eyelashes with a grin. and sana felt her heart relax, a tender feeling settling in her heart.

sana felt as if her heart was going to jump right out of her throat, but she couldn't help but grin back at the girl in front of her. shoulders feeling relaxed and mind totally at peace, butterflies swirling around in her stomach as she whispered back "it's a deal"

**Author's Note:**

> i couldnt find a good way to end this so I apologize for that weird ending. also im not good with angst also this is just a vent but i hope it was good enough ! until next time, bye bye !


End file.
